by Maria Mylona
Many men believe that if they are “good” and kind, this is enough to be successful in their relationships or in their careers. However, the “Nice Guy” phenomenon shows the opposite: often, these men end up frustrated because they avoid conflict and prefer to always be pleasant. They often suppress their own desires in order to please others. And finally, they believe that their kindness makes them “entitled” to love and respect, resulting in feeling angry or unfair when they do not get the attention they want.
On the contrary, women prefer authenticity, not fake kindness. When a man seems too eager to please others, he may seem insecure or lacking in self-esteem. Furthermore, a lack of assertiveness creates an imbalance. If you always put the needs of others first, you end up feeling taken advantage of. It is very important to remember that real relationships are based on respect and honesty. If a “Nice Guy” hides his anger or frustration, this will lead to toxicity.
How to escape Nice Guy Syndrome?
Learn to say “no”. You don’t have to always agree with others. Assertiveness does not mean aggression, but balance.
Express your needs without guilt. If something bothers you, say it clearly. You will not lose friends or partners because you show your emotions.
Recognize your value regardless of what others think. You don’t have to constantly prove how good you are to be appreciated.
Be a leader in your life. Show that you have goals, passions and a strong personality. People are attracted to those who have purpose and self-confidence.
In conclusion, being good is important, but the most important thing is to be authentic, to have self-respect and to express your needs without fear. The goal is not to become “bad”, but to find a healthy balance between goodness and self-esteem.
“To be safe is to be dead. Life is a constant transcendence of yourself” By Abraham Maslow
Maria Mylona is a Health Psychologist and a Synthetic Psychotherapist
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