by Maria Mylona
Saint Valentine’s Day is world-famous and is accompanied by many legends, the most characteristic of which is that one day while he was growing roses in his garden, he heard a couple arguing. He cut a rose, went out into the street, approached the couple and begged them to listen to him. He offered them the rose, blessed them and love returned between them, a little later they returned and asked the saint to bless their marriage. Additionally during the Roman period between February 13th and 15th there was the Lupercalia fertility festival. Also, the Attic calendar of the ancient Athenians from mid-January to mid-February showed the month of Gamilion, which was dedicated to the sacred marriage of the gods Zeus and Hera. Whatever we choose, there are many factors that will lead us to a beautiful day or the opposite.
The way we connect in our close relationships (attachment style) develops in infancy. There’s the Secure attachment type (a healthy balance of commitment and distance in relationships), the Avoidant (withdraws from those who give him love), and the Anxious-Fearful (needs constant reassurance that you love him). Usually there is attraction from partners where they will give us the opportunity to experience the familiar feeling again. Valentine’s Day is less accepted by avoidant types as they tend to feel less satisfaction in their relationships. This is enhanced by levels of neuroticism and introversion. Whereas extroverts tend to have a more positive attitude on holidays like this. It is important to recognize the personality style and psychology of our partner so that we have expectations that will not disappoint us. During Valentine’s week there are many breakups in relationships that are already in trouble due to unrealistic expectations for this day, such as greeting cards, chocolates and countless flowers accompanied by a romantic dinner.
If you are still single and feel alone because of the myth surrounding love and its commercialization, remember that you are not alone, even if it seems that way. Many people are in the same position. Singles have different advantages in their lives. They lead a healthier lifestyle as they exercise more. They have a larger social network and can socialize with friends whenever they want. They have more free time to do things they enjoy and are just as or even happier than those who are in a relationship. Being alone can be considered lonely, but for many it is a necessity that brings joy. For today go out with friends to a nice restaurant exchanging gifts with each other even if there are no partners. You don’t have to be in a relationship to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Being around loved ones is conducive to our mental well-being as it reduces stress and the way we deal with difficulties.
If you’ve recently broken up, reflect on what happened in that relationship, but don’t let overanalysis get you down. It’s worth learning from our mistakes so we don’t repeat them, but also when we need to look ahead reflecting on the future we want and what we can do to achieve it.
Our emotions are the result of how we react and how we interpret different situations. We can change how we feel if we try to change the way we think about a situation.
Let Love Lead the Way… Happy Valentine’s Day To All Of You!
Maria Mylona is a Health Psychologist and Synthetic Psychotherapist
Photo by Kurt Markus
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